How to Play

Connecting feelings to needs is where the magic happens! The magic happens when we connect our feelings to our needs. Feelings provide is information about our needs, and needs are the ‘why of feelings. Identifying the needs that are driving any given feeling or group of feelings helps us to calm down. As we calm, we begin to understand our feelings and needs more deeply. Learning to recognize what activates our feelings, whther positive, negative, uncertain, or confusing, we naturally develope better communication skills. With better communication comes better decision-making. Understanding our own feelings and needs also cultivates curiosity for understanding other people’s feelings and needs. Understanding others doesn’t mean we agree with or even like the person we are communicating with. However, it does help us to get along better, communiate more clearly, and enahcne our ability to collaborate with people we disagree with.

There are 3 primary ways to play:

  • Feelings and Needs Exploration for pairs and small groups

  • Small Group Tension Exercise

  • Self-Reflection solitaire

Click on the images below to view or download instructions for each version.

Listening Game Cards is a bilingual interactive game of 225 cards split into two decks: 113 Feelings cards and 112 Needs cards. Combined, they are both a powerful tool and a fun, creative game.

Listening Game Cards are a way of working with the language of feelings and needs through storytelling. Like the classic games of Pictionary or Charades, players take turns creating or sharing a story for others to engage with curiosity for understanding the storyteller’s feelings and needs. 

The cards can be used with pairs or small groups for improving communication and team building and individually as a form of solitaire for self-reflection and wellness exercises.

Listening Game Cards facilitate understanding and problem-solving by identifying and naming the feelings experienced in any given moment about any life event, past, present, or as imagined in the future. 

The renowned psychologist Dan Siegel is famous for coining the phrase, “Name it to tame it.” Studies show that when we name our feelings, our brains release neurotransmitters to the agitated part of our brain, and we begin to calm.

Calmer brains allow us to think more clearly and make better decisions. Listening Game Cards takes ‘naming and taming’ to the next level by including the opportunity to identify and name the underlying needs that drive our feelings.

View & Download Instructions

  • Collaboration exercise

  • Couples communication

  • Cultivating inclusive cultures

  • Difficult conversations

  • Icebreaker exercise

  • Mindfullness exercise

  • Negotiation

  • ‘Other’ awareness

  • Peer support

  • Problem solving

  • Relationship building and repair

  • Self awareness and reflection

  • Story sharing

  • Strategic HR placement

  • Team building

  • Wellness exercise

  • Workflow planning

  • Working with a Therapist

  • Workplace conflict management

When to Use Listening Game Cards

Listening Game Cards can be used any time you want to explore your own feelings and needs, as a tool for getting to know another person or a small group of people, for situational awareness, problem-solving, managing workplace conflict, human resource planning, and more. The possibilities are almost endless. Common applications include:

“… anything we can do to increase our ability to “read the room” and the individuals in it, makes our conflict resolution job more effective.” 

– Tammy Lenski