The Listening Game Cards Story

“Anyone reading at roughly a middle school level can use Listening Game Cards.”

Hi, I’m Beth Myers, Mediator, Conflict Resolution Specialist, Researcher, former corporate executive, single-parent, Founder, and Author of Listening Game Cards.

I first created Listening Game Cards in 2018 as a class assignment for teaching cognitivism - a theory of how people receive, organize, and retrieve information. I illustrated cognitivist theory by working with the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) feelings and needs exploration created by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. Informal testing revealed that people struggled to fit their feelings and needs into the NVC feelings and needs decks of about 100-word cards and that working with the NVC structure was challenging. So, I created and tested a new approach with 225 cards and easier-to-use guidelines.

Listening Game Cards continued to evolve during COVID-19 isolation when I experienced and observed the powerful impact of naming our feelings and needs with small groups via Zoom. Participants met weekly to share sometimes traumatic stories in a confidential, trusting, non-judgmental setting. I also witnessed some participants struggle with the critical yet sometimes complex structure and boundaries of NVC. They wanted to engage with the NVC feelings and needs cards process but wanted to focus on language that was more natural and a process that was more intuitive for them.

So, I began using and comparing two sets of cards, the NVC set, and the Listening Game Cards. I started using both sets with people outside of our weekly COVID group sessions. It soon became clear that people enjoyed the ease of the Listening Game Cards approach, appreciated the additional words, and the broader access to language in both English and Spanish.

Many users of Listening Game Cards say that feelings and needs exploration is a cathartic experience. That experience, coupled with an ever-increasing societal awareness confirming that our mental and emotional health is suffering (in part due to lack of ready access to professional services) I felt a responsibility to get Listening Game Cards to as many people as possible - whether they could afford them or not. The quest to deliver began. At first, I shared free, printable PDFs of cards. Alas, if the participant didn’t have card stock, the home-printed paper cards weren’t easy to work with. “Fly away cards” helped but couldn’t deliver the full benefit of actual cards - especially for visual/tactile learners. Eventually, I printed 70 sets of cards that disappeared quickly. But, the cost of printing locally is steep. There was no easy way to make the cards affordable and easily accessed. Three options for accessing cards emerged: Traditional Purchase, Pay it Forward, and Buy 1 Give 1.

The Pay it Forward and Buy 1 Give 1 options allow purchasers an opportunity to generously support others anonymously. Financially struggling and low-wage individuals, including teachers, students, first responders, small non-profit organizations, and more, can apply to receive cards at no cost to them, including no cost of shipping. Applying is easy. We don’t ask for proof of income, but we do ask that you share a story about your need and how you will use the cards. As Pay it Forward or Buy 1 Give 1 purchases are made, FREE cards are sent to the individuals on the waitlist. First responder agencies and small non-profit organizations can apply for up to 10 sets of cards! See details here.

Today’s Listening Game Cards represent a set of 225 Feelings and Needs Exploration cards made up of 2 decks: 113 Feelings and 112 Needs cards in English and Spanish. Cards are a standard size of 2.5 x 3.5 inches and are distinguished by color: Feelings cards are light blue, and Needs cards are white. Anyone reading at roughly a middle school level can use Listening Game Cards.

• Traditional Purchase

• Pay it Forward - Buy for others

• Buy 1 Give 1 - Buy for you and an equal amount for others on the waitlist

Every word in the Listening Game Cards set has been researched for meaning, common usage, and comparison to the NVC application. The primary questions for deciding what words to include were:

• How many people are using any given word or phrase?

• Why does one word vs. another word matter?

• How and why does using one word vs. another word deviate from NVC?

Heads up!

You may look for words in Listening Game Cards intentionally excluded from the decks. For example, the words empathy and control are not included for important reasons discussed in future blog posts - a feature coming soon!

While you wait for cards to arrive, Feelings and Needs lists are free and downloadable from this site.

Working with cards provides more benefits than lists because they engage three out of the five basic human senses. Cards act as visual, auditory, and kinesthetic learning tools. Lists are also effective but in different ways. Get started today by downloading a Feelings and Needs list here!

Everyone has feelings and needs. Not everyone has access to the tools or counseling to help them work through their feelings and needs. Contribute to Pay it Forward or Buy 1 Give 1 today because …

Supporting Professional Service Providers

Listening Games Cards is the latest tool in the toolbox of professional service providers. Therapists, Social Workers, Family and Community Services Providers, Counselors, Educators, Mediators, and other public-facing human service providers can supplement their services by offering feelings and needs exploration to clients.

Listening Game Cards is an ideal tool for working with clients and for empowering clients to work independently or with specific topics.

Non-profits, first responder agencies, and other organizations use the cards for team building, employee engagement, negotiation, wellness, and peer support.

Workplace safety, HR, and training professionals use Listening Game Cards to improve workplace communication and conflict management skills.

Listening Game Cards is breaking down barriers to emotional health by opening new doors to emotional intelligence and personal well-being.